I Belong To You

Sunday, August 28, 2005

3am I hope this makes sense!

What's up guys,

Well its late ( really early whatever) anyways, I cant sleep so I thought I would Blog a bit...

My mind keeps thinking about all the stuff I have to do this wk, Going to the cashes and reading to the kids, Packing, Church, Saying Goodbye to everyone, I need some praying cuz this week isnt going to be all that fun, and its going to be draining thats for sure!

Today at church I learned how to say " I LOVE YOU" in retoroo, I also know how to say " STOP BEGGING" LOL yeah those are the two phrases I wanted to know...heehee

Right now there is some God awful music playing outside, Okay whoever thought black people have rythm and good voices, YOUR WRONG!!!! They dont, Actually alot of them can't even clap on tune here- Yeah its sad...heehee

Today I was wearing this really cute teal and white skirt to church, and I was walking into the church and I stepped on this muddy area and my feet came out from under me and I landed in the mud...I was like CRAP. I looked behind me and my WHITE and teal skirt had mud all over the back... So dest had to run me home so I could change...David said if he would have seen me fall he probably would have laughed ( I told him its ok because it he would have fallen I would have laughed too)

I've discovered so many awesome bands while being here, Like I didnt even know I liked jars of clay until I came over here and listened to it...and Something like silas! Yes...I've got taste in music now...No more out of eden...Or supertones! LOL yeah I bet a few of you are glad to hear that!

I'm feeling ok for the most part, I still have alot of sinus pressure- I think It could be from the weather though, Its been pretty stormy here.

You know what? I've spent my whole life running from people and pushing people away because I was afraid to be hurt...You know doug said something the other day- he said you cant go through life not trusting people, your going to get hurt, people will let you down, and stuff will happen but you cant not trust...You just have to know that God will always be there- And thats so true...I have some of the most precious friends who only want whats best for me...And I'm starting to relize just how much God has given to me...I also learned while being here...The Lord gives and he takes away, and if you hold something with a closed fist, The Lord is still going to get it if he wants...He loves us so much and half the time if we would just trust him and let him have whatever is going on then it would be so much easier...DO I do that most the time? NO WAY! I try so hard and think I can do it...It dosent work that way, if God is not in the center of everything we do, then it isnt worth doing- if we dont give him every part of our life...Then what is the point of living?

I've come to relize I have got to be the most stubborn person in the World, and the good Lord isnt done working on me yet, but in the last three months he has done so much, that I often times just sit there in tears thinking about it...all I can say is PRAISE GOD for his love and mercy and grace...I've tryed doing things my own way and it doesnt work..I'm lost without him and I need him more then I could even know...

I'm praying for all of you and I hope in maybe some way my story can encourage you or help you in any way, because if it can then everything I've gone through makes it worth while! I love you guys so much...aand I mean that from the bottom of my heart...God has given each one of you to me and you dont even know how he has used you in my life...Thank you for being so patient and loving all those times I pushed you all away...Thank you for being a true friend to me when I needed it the most...

Okay well Now i'm tired and I'm going to bed, I hope this makes sense- Its late and words tend to jumble up in my head..LOVE


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